Leaders are readers.  It’s the idea that we need to continue to be challenged in our current understanding and be willing to grow.  Often, growing in our understanding of the familiar seems unnecessary.  After all, we already “know”.  Churches and church leaders can fall into the same patterns of thinking.  They already know and understand, so there is no need to grow in their knowledge and understanding.

The more I learn and know, the more that I learn what I didn’t know.  And the deeper into the weeds of ministry we get, the more important it becomes to continue to get our heads out of the weeds and ensure that we are on course.

The following are my reflections on some insights gleaned from 7 Practices of Effective Ministry by Andy Stanley & Lane Jones (Colorado Springs: Multnomah Books, 2004.)

Effective ministry does not happen accidentally, but rather intentionally and strategically.  Andy Stanley artfully provides a new lens for the ministry practitioner to approach ministry from this vantage point.  This new lens has the potential to transform ministry from being mediocre with minimal results towards a ministry that is vibrant with significant results; in a word, effective.  The practitioner leveraging Stanley’s “7 practices” will be challenged to replace old systems and approaches rather than incrementally modify and add to existing processes.

The church has drifted off mission and lost its way.  It has become a slave to form and lost sight of its function.  The form is the way that we “do” church.  The function is what the church is and who it should be.  To be effective in being the church, the church needs to rethink how it is accomplishing its mission.  Is the church aiming and the correct target and is the target being hit.  Indeed, the church of the 21^st century needs to reestablish clarity about its mission.  Further, the church of today needs to focus about the method of accomplishing the mission.  Additionally, the church needs alignment of the people and processes central to moving towards accomplishing the mission.  Indeed, there is a distinction between getting the job done and getting the job done well.  Stanley calls the church to move towards a more missional approach to effectiveness that is intentional, strategic, and uncompromising.  Indeed, the church can find itself mired in being efficient and effective at the wrong thing.  Notwithstanding, all hope is not lost.  The church can choose to transition back to the core mission and engage her people to be what God has called her to be; the body of Christ.

Stanley’s narrative approach to introducing and teaching is clearly artful and highly effective in communicating truth.  To that end, he provides conceptual ideas (principles) that may be implemented in various ministry contexts without being overly technical, academic, and philosophical.  Indeed, principles are transferable and timeless and have wide application.  Church leaders would do well to heed many of Stanley’s contentions.  Further, he rightly observes that principles and practices are simply tools to increase ministry effectiveness and are not of themselves the vision, values and strategy.  Indeed, God must provide the overall direction and His people need to be aligned with Him primarily.

The principle of “clarifying the win” provides an important perspective that there are certain things that matter most and church leaders need to keep this out front through constant communication in varied forms.  To be sure, when church leaders do not continuously define the most important goals and objectives (the “win”), then the people with choose for themselves what they deem to be important.  Indeed, a tremendous deliverable for this principle is that of alignment; everyone is on the proverbial “same page.”  It is the idea that church leaders continually cast the vision for what God has called this local church to be and what it will not be.  Further is the idea of how the church intends to get there and how it will not.  Stanley rightly introduces a penetrating question that can help to guide the leadership team in navigating the challenging waters of what matters most.  “What do we want people to walk away and do?” (Stanley 79).  This ensures that the vision and goals are the focus rather than the latest pet project or idea.  Indeed, couched in this principle is knowing where the church is heading and being able to identify that they have made progress.

Here are a five key ideas to apply to church growth at Mount Auburn Christian.

Think steps rather than thinking programs.  It is the idea of keeping it simple through intentional integration and interrelatedness of every step in the process of moving people towards a vibrant relationship with Jesus.  Moving people towards the destination of Christ-likeness should be a process that is ongoing and not compartmentalized by a silo ministry model.  Indeed, life change best happens through intentional interdependencies that accomplish the biblical purposes of the church; CONNECT (fellowship), WORSHIP, GROW (discipleship), SERVE (ministry), SHARE (outreach/evangelism).  In other words, everything we do at Mount Auburn Christian can be an opportunity to fulfill one of the purposes of God’s church and intentionally provide a transition or “step” in fulfilling another purpose.

Create an effective step in the process that is easy, obvious and strategic (Stanley 94).  Indeed, to make the next step obvious, leaders need to consistently explain what is important and what is next.  This provides a “road map” to guide people towards ongoing life change and transformation into the likeness of Jesus.  This is will have the secondary benefit of discouraging people from being territorial and enable everyone to see how their ministry step is an important part of and enable to the big picture.

Be tenacious about staying simple.  Stanley courageously makes leadership decisions about saying no to popular “churchy” programs including Christian schools, midweek services, men and women’s ministries, children’s choirs, adult Sunday schools, Easter or Christmas pageants and recreation ministries (Stanley 105).  Indeed, the first century church was effective without such trappings and the 21^st century church can surely be as well.  Streamlining what a church does to ensure that is unwavering in being great at a few foci rather than mediocre at many to maximize the impact.  At Mount Auburn Christian, we need to evaluate what keeps us from being simple.

Think outside the bun.  We tend to cultivate a church sub-culture that is an “us-versus-them” mentality.  Churches today have become quite adept at speaking “Christianese” and have lost sight of what it is like to not attend church.  Indeed, attending church and maintaining our church-kingdom has become the priority.  We must return to being kingdom-builders that are on mission for Christ by seeking and saving those that are lost.  This is a drastic difference from seeking and preserving those that are saved.  Connecting with people who do not know Jesus must be at the top of our priority.  We have to ask the penetrating question: Are we as a church trying to reach people or trying to keep people?  Listening to outsiders has to be part of the strategy.  Stanley’s “listen and invite” approach is an excellent method to keep the main thing the main thing by making reaching people our priority.

Effective church is what Jesus promised we would be (Matthew 16:18).  Too often we have tried to make the church be what God did not intend it to be; a religious club or charity.  Stanley has offered bold practical practices to rethink our approach to doing church.  I am convinced that the church must be willing to make serious adjustments to its approaches to enable effectiveness.  Mediocrity results in apathy resulting in being comfortable with the status quo.  Effectiveness is the result of being intentional and strategic and a willingness to make necessary adjustments to get the compass realigned to true North.  Stanley’s “7 practices of effective ministry” are a clarion call to do just that.

Let’s keep journeying together as God shows us how we can best engage the culture of today while getting our heads out of the weeds every now and then ...

WORKS CITED

Stanley, Andy, Reggie Joiner, and Lane Jones. 7 Practices of Effective Ministry. Colorado Springs: Multnomah Books, 2004.

The example was that of a person who wore a shirt to church that said the following: “Abortion Kills”.  My intent with the illustration was to advance the point that people must stumble over the Gospel and not over spurious methods which smack of self-righteous judgment and condemnation.

I have been a staunch proponent of pointing people to Jesus at every opportunity.  Tragically, some evangelicals in the past 30 years have focused more on sticking a poker in people’s eyes rather than share the Gospel which gives sight to the blind.  Consider the following:

“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Corinthians 1:18).

Because the Gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing, we must be intentional about sharing the Gospel rather than have non-Christians call Christians foolish because of non-core matters such as methods including songs, t-shirts, trite road-side signage, fish on our cars, etc.  The Christian sub-culture has effectually alienated non-Christians from faith in Christ.  We’ve made the wrong thing the main thing.  We must rather keep the main thing at the core: Jesus saves.

People don’t need our rip-off Christian sub-culture, they need Jesus.  People don’t need three crosses decorating our Church lawns, they need Jesus.  People don’t need a fish on my car, they need Jesus who fishes for men.  People don’t need my t-shirt telling them how sinful they are, they need Jesus whose shirt was stripped from Him and gambled away.  People don’t need a cutesy worded church sign, they need the Word made flesh.  People don’t need to see the preacher’s name on the Church sign, they need Jesus by whose name they can be saved!

What people need, is for Christians who misrepresent Jesus to get out of the way because they’re slowing others down and distracting them on their way to Christ.

At its core, the Gospel is not about behavior modification first, but rather belief and faith upon Jesus Christ as the Redeemer and Reconciler of mankind to God.  My modified behavior then becomes the outflow of my love for Christ and desire to live for Him.  It’s the contrast of faith and works.  Behavior modification then is seen as faith that works.  It’s the notion of cause and effect.  Jesus’ love for me evidenced in His death, burial and resurrection and then releasing me from the prison of my sinful life causes me to fall on my face in love and adoration and worship as a response.  The effect is that I now want to live for Him and love Him with all that I am.

Loving people where they are at is tough.  And Christ-followers have, for too long, placed conditions on our willingness to love others, namely if they change their ways first.  We’ve historically been about wrath first, and then grace conditioned on their changed behavior.

The striking beauty of the Gospel is that Christ loved us first and died for us while we were still sinners!  He entered into our broken humanity to demonstrate unconditional love by meeting us where we are at and offering us grace, mercy and forgiveness in spite of who we are rather than because of who we are.  The difference between religion and being a Christ-follower is this: religion is man reaching up to God (works), Christianity is God reaching down to man (grace).

Shoving sins in people’s faces with billboards, t-shirts and bumper stickers misses the point and emphasizes behavior modification in order to become a better person.  It has the dual affect of exalting the Christian as better than and the non-Christian as less than.  Exalting an icon such as the cross, a fish, a steeple/spire, a pulpit, a communion table, or an edifice misses the point and emphasizes that rituals and iconography make me better than and others less than.  Both approaches convey judgment and condemnation of others as well as self-exaltation and self-righteousness.  Neither approach exalts Christ and therefore misses the point.  The point is Jesus and people need to be pointed to Him rather than be distracted from Him by Christians who haven’t got the memo on what grace and mercy is.  The ground is level at the foot of the cross and Christ-followers must be about showing Jesus to others rather than how good they are and how bad they’re not.

The question for Christ-followers must ask themselves is this: what methods am I using to point people to Christ and what methods am I using that alienate people from Christ?

Anything that distracts or places a barrier between a lost world and the Savior of the world, must be re-examined, re-evaluated, re-tooled, re-modeled, re-deployed or be completely re-moved!

Surely, compromising truth and soft-selling Jesus is just as bad.  This falls in the false-gospel category.  In this scenario, by adding to or taking away from the Gospel we’ve adulterated and perverted it.  Compromising the message must never happen.  At the same time, modifying our methods to meet the context of the surrounding culture is essential.  This is what Jesus did by entering into humanity and dwelling among us.  He encountered them on their terms while calling them to Himself on His own terms.

This brings us back to the contrast and tension of the message of the Gospel and the methods of sharing the Gospel.  The message of the Gospel will offend.  My methods should not.  If I alienate people with my hosed up method, I’ve missed the opportunity to point people to Jesus and I am held responsible.

“So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way” Romans 14:12-13.

If I alienate people with the Gospel of Jesus, and they reject me as a result, than they have rejected Christ and I am not held responsible.  “He who listens to you listens to me; he who rejects you rejects me; but he who reject me rejects him who sent me” (Luke 10: 16).

One listener of this past Sunday’s sermon retold the account of their participation in ministering to women several years back in conducting “sidewalk counseling” at an abortion clinic.  They shared that they chose to convey the following sign: "Abortion: Jesus Heals and Forgives."

I believe their method is right on the mark.  It meets people at their point of greatest need and points them to Jesus while conveying grace, mercy, restoration and reconciliation. 

Contrast that with the signage I referenced earlier on a person at XYZ Church: “Abortion Kills”.  That person or group conveyed judgment and condemnation whereby the wearer is judge, jury and executioner and the reader is alienated from God without hope.  That was a method that simply missed the point at best and alienated anyone who was living with the guilt, shame and trauma of that tragic choice at worst.

Jesus said to the woman caught in the act of adultery, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:10b-11).

Jesus offered grace and mercy first (with no condemnation) and then directs her to renounce her sin and leave it.

Christ-followers must do the same.  We must graciously love on people where they are at and point them to Jesus.  Any method that doesn’t enable this, is missing the point.

It’s all about Jesus.

Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?  For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.  For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:10-31

Picking apples too soon or too late can a big difference in how said shiny fruit tastes.  We look for evidence that it's matured and has grown as it should.  People are the same way.  We usually expect folks to mature in varying degrees depending on where they are in life.  We usually anticipate progress in their life's journey.  Our spiritual journey is similar as well.  Regardless of what age we begin our journey of faith, we are expected to mature and ripen.  In fact, we need to show progress.  In other words, the Christian life is to be evidential.  As people redeemed by the blood of Jesus and saved by grace through faith, Christians have the holy privilege of growing up (Eph. 4:15) in Christ.  While Christian growth and maturity (Eph. 4:13) are often subjectively evaluated, we may be sure that there are objective marks of maturity revealed in Scripture. Indeed, the Apostle Paul, in his letter to the church in Colosse, identifies the following as outward manifestations of the work of Christ in and through His people: compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, love, peace, and gratitude (Col. 3:12-17).  These virtues are objective evidences of a Christian life that is growing and maturing.  We will discuss, in more depth, three of the evidential marks of maturity from Paul’s list: patience, forgiveness and gratitude.

Patience

The growing and maturing Christ-follower will demonstrate patience as a result putting on Christ.  It is akin to yielding to the work of the Spirit in and through their life.  Indeed, Christians do not exhibit the virtue of patience of their own accord but rather as a result of the work of the Spirit of God.  Additionally is the notion that patience is a relational virtue as gleaned from this text and the parallel texts in Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus.  It is relational in the sense that patience is a virtue to be exhibited in community with other people; one another and all (Eph. 4:2; 1 Thess. 5:14).  At times, patience is understood in the context of needing to wait for an event to occur, circumstances to change, or seasons of life to transpire.  Yet, Paul is referring specifically to how Christ-followers relate to one another.  Further, we may understand patience by what it is not.  Patience is the opposite of quick anger, resentment, or revenge and thus epitomizes Jesus Christ.  It endures injustice and troublesome circumstances with hope for coming relief (MacArthur 2005).  Patience is a characteristic of God that is to be reflected in mankind who are made in His image.  As image bearers, Christ-followers should evidentially model patience as reproduced in those who bear His image (Bruce 1984).

Forgiveness

Paul exhorts Christ-followers to bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances they may have with one another and to forgive as the Lord forgave them (Col. 3:13).  Again the virtue of forgiveness is intended to be contextualized in community with other people.  Indeed, people do not have the “power” to forgive sins.  Notwithstanding, Christians are able to no longer hold others in debt to themselves for physical or emotional grievances.  Indeed, forgiveness is the notion of releasing the offender from indebtedness of any kind.  It is giving up the right to hold any trespass or personal grievance against the offender.  Paul’s command is sweeping and leaves no room for “degrees” of grievances.  Indeed, the term “whatever” encapsulates any and all sins or trespasses.  This is precisely why Christian maturity and growth are evidenced when Christ-followers model biblical forgiveness.  They are to forgive even the major and seemingly unforgivable grievances through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Indeed, the proof that Christ-followers are forgiven is that they forgive others (Lloyd-Jones 1976).  The man who knows he has been forgiven, only in and through the shed blood of Christ, is a man who must forgive others (Lloyd-Jones 1976).  This reveals Paul’s echo of Jesus command for Christians to forgive others if they are seeking forgiveness from God.  To be sure, those who seek the forgiveness of God must be ready to forgive others (Matt. 6:14-15).  Additionally, God forgives only the penitent and that one of the chief evidences of true penitence is a forgiving spirit (Stott 1978). Because Christ, as the model of forgiveness, has forgiven all of our sins total, believers must be willing to forgive others (MacArthur 2005).  There are to be no limitations whatever to the forgiveness of others.  It is to be an attitude of mind even before the offending party requests forgiveness (Elwell 2001).  Indeed, limitations on forgiveness are not allowed for.  Jesus taught the principle that there is to be a willingness of the Christian to continually forgive and to keep on forgiving even unto “seventy times seven” (Matt. 18:22).  Indeed, patience is a mark of Christian maturity which evidences growth and discipleship and is inherently connected to spiritual formation.  Through the spiritual disciplines, the Christian can seek to allow God to work patience in and through them in their interpersonal relationships with other Christ-followers and the world in general.  To be sure, Christians are called to willfully choose to forgive and to give up the right to hold any grievance against any person regardless of the degree of the grievance or the frequency of the grievance.  As forgiveness of others is directly connected to God’s forgiveness of the Christ-follower, there is a remarkable outcome that is both cathartic and healing.

Gratitude

The virtue of thankfulness and gratitude is a unique mark of Christian maturity in that it is principally in relation to God rather than other people.  In short, gratitude is a response to God’s grace to us.  Indeed, Paul exhorts the Christ-followers to do Christian activities with gratitude in our hearts to God and to give thanks to God the Father through the name of Jesus Christ (Col. 3:16,17).  The notion of gratitude and thankfulness are therefore “to God”.  He is the object of this virtue and the aim of our hearts.  The Christ-follower is to exhibit a life of thankfulness in all things “whether in word or deed”.  The all encompassing nature of this exhortation is profound in that Christ-followers are to evidence gratitude in all circumstances.  It is a lifestyle of surrender and worship in response to God’s work of grace wrought in the life of the believer.  Bruce aptly posits, if thanksgiving is God’s due from all humanity for His gifts of creation and providence, how much more is it His due from those who have received the surpassing gift of His grace (Bruce 1984)?  Indeed, the Christ-follower who is thankful to God in all circumstances is evidencing an important mark of Christian maturity.

So What!

Growth and maturity in Christ-likeness is a process that is continual and ongoing.  The process is transformational, relational and evidential.  The evidences are markers that are objective in nature and quantifiable.  Patience and forgiveness are virtues that are relational in nature and primarily evidenced in community with other people.  They are inherently connected to spiritual formation through the intentional yielding, surrendering and dependence on the Holy Spirit.  Gratitude is God-oriented and is in response to the work of God in the life of the Christ-follower and should be evidenced in all circumstances.  The Christ-follower evidences these virtues to the exclusion of self and the exaltation of God.  Indeed, God desires all Christ-followers to mature and grow in their faith.  Patience, forgiveness and gratitude are remarkable evidential marks of this process of spiritual formation and maturation.

If it looks ripe.  It's a good sign that it might be.

WORKS CITED

Bruce, F. F. The Epistles to the Colossians, to Philemon, and to the Ephesians. Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1984.

Elwell, Walter A. Evangelical Dictionary of Theology. 2nd Edition. Edited by Walter A. Elwell. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2001.

Lloyd-Jones, D. Martyn. Studies in the Sermon on the Mount. Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1976.

MacArthur, John. The MacArthur Bible Commentary. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2005.

Stott, John R.W. The Message of the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5 - 7). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, USA, 1978.

MAJOR FACTORS NEEDED FOR GENUINE INTIMACY IN RELATIONSHIPS

God invites us to go deeper rather than to be content with surface matters (Swindoll 1996, 14).  Wilson and Hoffman contend that there are nine major factors needed for genuine intimacy in relationships: Take the Risk Toward Relationship; Learn to Express Emotions; Fight Fair; Express Anger Positively; Welcome Help; Offer Help; Physical Affirmation; Laugh More; Adventure with Others; and Play with Others (Wilson and Hoffmann 2007, 55-58).  Presumably, this list is not exhaustive yet provides a general platform from which to generate discussion, reflection and application in establishing or strengthening intimacy with others.  Three of these factors are provided below as being significantly important and an effective tool in building intimacy.  They are offered with the understanding that intimate relationships that are healthy can only be found in three primary relationships: people with God; man and woman in the context of marriage; and same-gender.

Take the Risk Toward Relationship

The notion of taking the initiative toward starting a new relationship or growing an existing one can be a significant step for most people.  To experience depth in any relationship one or both parties will need to take a step towards the other through the activity of initiative.  In other words, one person needs to make the first move and the other person needs to respond in kind.  The risk toward relationship involves the possibility of rejection, judgment, condemnation and failure.  Indeed, I am convinced that the primary barrier to this step is the fear of rejection.  For many, this fear is too great a risk and the safety of maintaining the status quo (whether it is good or bad) is the equilibrium of familiarity.  As such, familiarity is comfortable because it is predictable and safer than exposing oneself to the possibility of emotional pain.  Because most people tend to avoid pain at all costs, the fear of being rejected through the initiation of a new relationship or the strengthening of an existing one must be supplanted with a healthy and Biblical understanding of who we are in Christ.  Only then, can the risk toward relationship be acceptable because the fear of rejection is cast in the proper light of finding value and self-worth in what God thinks of us rather than of what others think of us.  To be sure, taking the risk toward relationship is a necessary and foundational step towards the cultivation of healthy intimacy with God and other people.

Fight Fair

Choosing to be vulnerable and sharing how we feel is also a risk.  Inherent to this vulnerability and willingness to share are the concept of opinions and perceptions.  Indeed, we must cultivate intimacy through the intentional decision of not perceiving what others say or do as a personal attack or affront.  It is the idea of being willing to disagree without being disagreeable.  It is a willingness to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19).  It is intentionally being pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good frit, impartial and sincere (James 3:17).  It is assuming the best about the motives and intentions of the other person without taking their words personal.  This concept has been an exceptional challenge for me as I perceive conflict as attacks and take them very personally.  It is the idea of having liberty in non-essentials and in all things love.  To be sure, ideas can be rejected without rejecting the person ( (Wilson and Hoffmann 2007, 56).  Indeed, intimacy can be cultivated without holding the same opinion and without holding the same view or perception.  We can practice Paul’s exhortation to accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters (Romans 14:1) as an ingredient to fighting fair and cultivating intimacy.

Express Anger Positively

Further, I am convinced that both parties must be committed to intentionally cultivating an environment where each feels safe to be vulnerable and share with the other.  Indeed, safety breeds intimacy.  If one party fears criticism then they will be unwilling to be vulnerable and honest.  If one party anticipates anger, resentment and sarcasm, then there will be an unwillingness to express and expose their true feelings and the depth of their heart.  Additionally, is the notion of being willing to do whatever it takes to ensure we are doing all that we can to cultivate the environment to build intimacy.  We should make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification (Romans 14:19).  I have been growing in this area by completely adjusting my approach to my wife to cultivate intimacy through establishing and maintaining a safe relational environment to openly share.

Cultivating intimacy requires openly sharing how we, ourselves, feel rather than trying to project what others are feeling and thinking.  Indeed, telling the other person how they feel or what they should feel is more akin to cultivating angst than health.  Rather, sharing how we feel is an expression of our emotional response or reaction to what we are experiencing in the relationship and provides an avenue to be known fully.  Conversely, is the willingness to draw from the well of the heart of the other by asking them how they feel.  Further is the notion of reflective listening whereby we repeat back to the other what we heard and understood to ensure both parties are arriving at a deeper awareness, appreciation, love and intimacy for the other.  The non-threatening safety that has been cultivated and a willingness to vulnerably share without attacking and being attacked will ensure intimacy can grow and deepen.

WORKS CITED

Swindoll, Charles R. Intimacy With the Almighty: Encountering Christ in the Secret Places of Your Life. Dallas, TX: Word Publishing, 1996.

Wilson, Michael Todd, and Brad Hoffmann. Preventing Ministry Failure: A ShepherdCare Guide for Pastors, Ministers and other Caregivers. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2007.

As we continue the conversation about the church, I wanted to include a discussion of the importance of intimacy in building life-changing relationships.  The following is an article I wrote a few years ago.

What Intimacy Really Is

I am convinced that every person has an innate desire to know and be known.  Primarily, we are driven to meet our own personal needs first before setting out to meet the needs of others.  In the context of relationships with God and relationships with people, we desire to be known.  It is the notion of empathy whereby we simply want to be affirmed that who we are and what we think matters; that it has value and significance.  Indeed, intimate relationships are those in which others truly understand us, even if they don’t agree with us (Wilson and Hoffmann 2007, 34).  As such, we may confidently affirm that intimacy is really any relationship where we know another fully and where we are also fully known (Wilson and Hoffmann 2007, 35).  Of note, is the notion that we might know another fully yet not be known by them fully.  Further, one may be known fully, without knowing the other fully.  As such, the intimacy in the relationship is limited in scope and does not encapsulate the true sense of intimacy which seems to demand mutuality.

Why Intimacy is Important

Intimacy is important to every aspect of our lives due to the intrinsic need humanity has to do life in community with God and other people.  Community is rooted in the very nature of God’s personhood and, therefore, existed before creation (Gorman 2002, 25).  Further, is the notion that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18) and as such community and intimacy with God and people is inherent to the created order.  Indeed, the record of Adam from the beginning until now reflects God’s design that we enjoy Him in relationship and that we know community with one another (Gorman 2002, 29).  Our relationship need to know and be loved by others was etched into the very image of God within us.  Therefore, community is never optional – it is necessary for being what God designed us to be (Gorman 2002, 29). Our spirits cry out to be known by another, to be loved by another, to be affirmed by another (Icenogle 1994, 27).

At the same time, in the midst of our crowded existence, many of us are living lonely lives.  We live and work in a sea of humanity, but we end up missing out on the benefits of regular, meaningful relationships (Stanley and Willits 2004, 24).  People who don’t have meaningful relationships tend to fear intimacy more.  People who fear intimacy think that if others really get to know them, they won’t like them.  So they would rather stay disconnected than risk rejection (Stanley and Willits 2004, 32).   Indeed, we hide both our sexuality and spirituality in the presence of another being, whether God or human.  While the desire for relationship is strong, the fear of intimacy is also strong (Icenogle 1994, 28).

A Scriptural Case for the Importance of Intimacy with God

The importance of intimacy with God is illustrated in Luke 15:11-27.  Primarily, we observe the inadequacy of humanity to “go it alone”.  The quest to find worth and value in anything but God will prove to be elusive, empty and hollow.  Further, is the notion that mankind must recognize that his need for intimacy and relationship can only be found in the Father.  Finally, is the wonderful truth that the Father willingly takes us back in spite of our attempts to find fulfillment in the trappings of temporal life.  We do not need to fear rejection, shame, or failure when returning to the Father.  He takes us back into intimate koinonia and fellowship.  The Father redeems intimacy through no-strings-attached compassion, mercy and grace when the confession, repentance and continual faith of His children.

WORKS CITED

Gorman, Julie A. Community That is Christian: A Handbook on Small Groups. 2nd Edition. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2002.

Icenogle, Gareth Weldon. Biblical Foundations for Small Group Ministry: An Integrational Approach. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994.

Stanley, Andy, and Bill Willits. Creating Community: 5 Keys to Building A Small Group Culture. Sisters, OR: Multnomah Publishers, 2004.

Wilson, Michael Todd, and Brad Hoffmann. Preventing Ministry Failure: A ShepherdCare Guide for Pastors, Ministers and other Caregivers. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2007.

The following are the second of two parts taking a look at how churches can become unwittingly “stuck” in plateau or decline by getting off mission and missing the point for why they exist: glorifying God by making more and better disciples.

Positive healthy change requires recognizing there is a problem, labeling it, and introducing a revitalized approach to becoming what God has always desired His church to be: on mission with Him.

Do any of the following types of churches resonate with your experiences in churches of your past or present?  Do you see how “innocent” the problem can be?

I look forward to your perspectives and feedback.

Growing and searching with you …

“SQUARE PEG IN A ROUND HOLE” CHURCH

In this congregation, people are enlisted for leadership and service, not by their gifts or passions, but by other criteria.  You might hear, “We’ve got to fill this position.  Who can you think of that we’ve not already talked to?”  Someone else may suggest, “He’s here all the time.  Let’s make him an elder.”  Bankers automatically go on the finance committee, though they have the gift of evangelism or mercy.  People are all in their place, but it might not be the right place to help their church reach those around them.  The organization stifles the church’s impact.

“TIME-WARP” CHURCH

Somehow these folks have preserved, not just the tenets of the faith, but the positions, practices, and appearance of years gone by.  They may still have an “Intermediate” or “Junior” department.  They expect others to adapt and accept what they’ve grown comfortable with doing, and they give no thought at all to change.  The church doesn’t seem to attract people like it did before, but “If it’s good enough for me and my family, it should be good enough for them.”  This church was probably once very effective, but the community has experienced a major transition, leaving the church perplexed, wondering what it should do.

“TIDY” CHURCH

The members take pride in their church.  They’ve worked hard to get it and keep it in its present condition.  The buildings, furnishins, and equipment are well kept.  The materials are meticulously organized.  Everything operates smoothly until noisy youth or messy children begin to come.  As outreach efforts continue to draw more exuberant kids and their families, a greater sense of unrest develops.  The new growth is suddenly viewed as a threat, leading to efforts to contain it and to prevent further disruptions or damage.

“MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY” CHURCH

A number of the members in this church know how things ought to be, and are vocal – maybe even vociferous – in expressing it.  Thy like a certain kind of music.  Maybe guitars are out; anthems are in.  Or, choir robes are more appropriate than “street clothes” for worship.  Comments such as the following abound: “I don’t like to stand when we sing.”  “It’s always too hot (or too cold) in here.”  “I liked it better when we had the announcements in the middle of the service.”  “The attendance board has always been on that wall.”  “This is our room and we’re not about to move.”  No matter the issue, these people won’t be satisfied unless it’s done their way.  This is the stereotypical church wherein the senior adults are given the new van to use on their apple orchard trips while the student ministry is asked to drive the old van because “those teenagers are so messy.”  Young families get the message that their children are unwelcome.

“CHAPLAINCY’ CHURCH

The church hired its minister and expects the “chaplain” to be busy about meeting needs and making the church grow.  It’s not uncommon to hear a statement like “Preacher, you need to visit Mrs. Gray.  She hasn’t been feeling well.”  The members identify the needs and the prospects and expect their pastor to respond.  After all, they haven’t been to seminary, and that’s what he’s being paid to do.  Despite the fact that the church’s ministry impact is limited to the staff’s time and abilities, the church body remains committed to an employer/employee model.  They want a hired “chaplain,” not a leader.

“PLAY IT SAFE” CHURCH

Here, there’s little faith that God will provide.  Rather than enabling ministry and evangelism, it hinders them.  The church want to protect what it has.  As much money as possible is placed in a certificate of deposit.  But no plan is made to use it to reach others for Christ.  It’s a safety net that’s guarded carefully.  Members have little incentive to give.  This leads the treasurer and finance committee to conclude that they were wise to protect the “nest egg.”

Stetzer, Ed, and Mike Dodson. Comeback Churches: How 300 Churches Turned Around and Yours Can Too. Nashville, TN: B & H Publishing Group, 2007., pages21-23.

 http://www.comebackchurches.com/

For a church to “get it going on” again, it has to move from ignorance (or perhaps even denial) to recognition of the state they're in.  Similar to the classic notions of the “Twelve Step” program, there must be recognition that there is a problem.  Remember, the purpose of the church is to make disciples for God’s glory.

The following types of churches have been identified by Ed Stetzer and Mike Dodson as those that have become stuck.  That is, plateaued or in decline as a result of getting off mission.

I’m interested in your perspective on how you have possibly experienced churches embodied in these descriptions and how you maybe didn’t that realize you/we/they were “stuck”.

These churches can get back on mission, experience revitalization, and start growing again.  They all have in common one thing.  They have lost the passion for making disciples and the focus of God’s glory in His church.

INSTITUTIONALIZED CHURCH

Many churches have regressed into a state of merely functioning as an institution.  An institutionalized church focuses on and is more committed to the forms and programs of ministry.  It no longer sees the purpose for which the church was created, nor what the church is striving to produce.  In an institutionalized church, the good has become the enemy of the best, and activity has choked our productivity.  Please take note that an institutionalized church is not necessarily small.  Some of the larger churches in America are perfectly plateaued for this very reason.

VOLUNTARY ASSOCIATION CHURCH

The VAC has unwittingly modeled its organization after a democratic government rather than New Testament principles.  It is a church of the people, by the people, but most importantly for the people.  It purpose is to make sure it retains as many people as possible and keeps any new people in their place.  In order for this to become a reality, the board of the church is a balanced set of people who represent opposing factions in the church.  Whenever one group seeks to make a positive change in the church in one direction, the opposing factions begin to whine, complain, and gossip.  It’s a perfect democracy modeled after our government –which most would say does not always work so well.  The board then meets in emergency session, and the point is raised that three or four people {or families} might leave if the positive change becomes a reality.  Then compromises are made and deals are cut so that the church retains the “status quo.”  Of course, someone has explained that “status quo” is simply Latin for “the mess we’re in.”  Due to an overwhelming need to keep everyone happy, the Volunteer Association Church ends up bound, at the mercy of a rotating vocal minority, and ineffective.  This type of church will not change until they change their value system.

UNITENTIONAL CHURCH.

Many churches mean well, they have good intentions, but do not act on those intentions to reach their community.  They may even be willing, but ultimately, they never “do” what they “hop.”  Unintentional churches do not embrace an intentional process for making disciples of all nations (Matt. 28:18-20).  The churches naively believe that as long as they include the ingredients for making disciples – worship, nurture, teaching, outreach – disciples will be produced.

“US FOUR AND NOT MORE” CHURCH

Some churches have adopted an “us four and no more” mentality.  They have determined that if they get any larger, they will lose their sweet fellowship.  They do not intentionally reject “new” people, but their present relationships are so intimate that any new attendee of the church cannot break into the group.  They want a family feel, which means a group small enough to relate like family.  Like residents in the suburbs, they don’t want anymore people to crowd in once they are there.

“WE CAN’T COMPETE” CHURCH

Many “stuck” churches have simply given up.  Like a family-owned store next to a new Wal-Mart, they have given up on making a difference.  They have decided that they cannot “compete,” and they stop trying.  Unfortunately, they have bought into the idea that the unchurched are only interested in program-rich megachurches.  The data here shows that churches of all sizes can turn around and reach the unchurched.

“DECENTLY AND IN ORDER” CHURCH

These churches have a high regard for processes but lack passion.  They run everything by the book; unfortunately, it’s not the Bible.  As long as matters great and small meet the approval of various committees and are discussed in minute detail at business meetings, all is well.  Unfortunately, theyive forgotten – if they ever knew – that the business of the church was given by our Lord in the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.

Stetzer, Ed, and Mike Dodson. Comeback Churches: How 300 Churches Turned Around and Yours Can Too. Nashville, TN: B & H Publishing Group, 2007., pages19-21.

http://www.comebackchurches.com/