coffee casualty
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| Coffee travel mugs make too much sense. For some reason, I can't choose from the three varieties in our kitchen cabinet in the morning. So I grab one of our ginourmous mugs that completely dwarf a standard size coffee cup and fill 'er up. And then I get in the General Ki - the 4-door Rio with manual transmission and no power steering.... I can't explain exactly why this has any semblance of logic. Intentionally leaving the travel mug in the cabinet and driving to work with a huge cup of "open" coffee that won't fit in to the cup holder in the car and trying to make turns, while down shifting and the like. Surprisingly. I rarely have a "coffee casualty". Last week I had one (a coffee casualty) anyway. You see, I was down to the last several sips of my coffee while driving. And after grooving to some sassy 80's music on the local radio station, I concluded that I really didn't want the cold remains of the bottom of my cup. I decided that it was time for a drive-by coffee dumping; and waiting until the next stop light seemed too long to wait. After all, I couldn't put the cup down anywhere. It's too big and has cold coffee in the bottom.... So I delicately and ably put the cup in my right hand and hold the steering wheel with my pinky finger while I crank down the window with my left hand. I then experience the cool morning March air whipping through the car as I transfer the cup into my now free left hand and wait for the next two oncoming cars to whiz by lest they get splashed by what would inevitably happen next. So I quickly hold the fancy large cup out the window by the handle hoping that I won't drop it. And then it happened. I rationalized my next decision like this. "My wrist only bends in one direction. And so I'll dump the coffee in the direction that my wrist bends. Forward." However, there was a minor detail that wasn't factored in to this important decision of my morning commute... Pouring coffee into the wind with an open window is not a good idea. I had to pull over and wipe myself down. It was that bad. My entire left side of my body was coffered in coffee-spray. I have never seen coffee separate into so many tiny particles. It was a Coffee Casualty that felt more like a tsunami or front row seats at Shamu Show at Sea World. It's a good thing I had a treasure chest of Starbucks napkins (you know the brown ones) packed into my glove box. For such a moment as this. I smelled like Sumatra Extra Bold for the rest of the day .... At least I could put my cup down .... |
That is great stuff. I have two words for you....brown shirts. That will take care of everything and you can still have the great smell!
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What has "brown" done for me lately? I felt like the UPS man in camouflage.
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