stage fright
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| There was a time when I was pretty certain that I would make a career out of music. I was convinced that I would earn a degree in music and go in to being a studio musician and perhaps tour with a group somehow. I was very much in to the music/choir/drama/speech scene in junior high and high school. Those are some of the best memories of my life. Especially the marching band trips each fall. I can still remember how nervous I was to get up in front of the entire student body in Junior High as a finalist for the annual speech contest. It was one of those "stage fright" moments. I didn't win, but remember seeing the sea of faces staring at me. And it was scary yet good to develop a sense of confidence. At the same time, Piano lessons and I never got along too well. That would explain why I didn't do so hot in that new Music Theory class my senior year of high school too. I took my first drum lesson when I was 11. And I loved it. I bought my first drum set when I was 14. (I still have my Pearl Deep Force: Export Series kit with Sabian cymbals.) After applying to a few different colleges for music, I realized that I wasn't nearly as good in the field of music as I hoped I might be. I was average. I could carry a tune vocally. I could hold my own instumentally. I could do ok bustin' some suave dance moves for show choir and the stage fright was less and less of an issue. I didn't mind being in front of people (too much). But I was just average. And I began to see my dreams slipping through my fingers as high school graduation loomed closer. I didn't realize that God had other plans for me. I didn't realize that he had been laying the beginnings of a foundation in my life. Last week on Easter morning, I had the privilege of playing drums at our church (with three other musicians who are much more talented than I by the way). We played a five-song set that was exhilerating (I actually dropped my drum stick twice! I hadn't done that since a marching band field show in the fall of '88!!!). It was great to praise and worhip God with the clash of the cymbals and the sound of a sassy rhumba beat that I couldn't help but groove in to much to the chagrin of the rest of the combo who were wondering why I suddenly went "Latin" with the rock beat. It was good to worship the Creator of the universe, the Lord God Almighty, for His goodness and His patience with me and for His work in my life. Whether it's playing drums in worship, proclaiming the word of God in front of three services, teaching about God in a classroom setting, facilitating a discussion in my family room for our weekly LifeGroup or chatting one-on-one with someone about life and faith, God has been and continues to be the Author and Perfector of my faith. God refines us. He prepares us. He desires for us to bring Him glory. It was a watershed process for me to recognize that my plans in life need to line up with God's plans for my life. I needed to surrender my wants and desires. It's pretty cool to line with God instead of constantly asking Him to line up with me. I have no other ambition in life than to be used by God as His instrument to help other people connect with Him. May the Lord of the Heavans be praised and worshiped by all the nations. There's no need for stage fright anymore. God wants to use me in spite of my short-comings. I just need to let Him .... |
We thank God for leading you to us every time you teach or preach.
Paul
P.S. and drums too!!!!
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Paul:
I appreciate you and Mo!
Actually, you're the only ones who don't doze off when I'm talking ...
dan
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