bad boys
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| There is a certain "feeling" that comes over your entire person when you see flashing lights in your rear view mirror. It's that numb kind of "aw man, I can't believe he got me. Where was he hiding at ...." And then there's the classic question the police officer asks ... "Do you know why I pulled you over?" It's just like when Dad & Mom would call me upstairs from my bedroom when I was a kid. I was certain I was busted. I just wasn't certain exactly for "what" I was busted for. And so I start searching my mind for all of the stuff that I could possibly get in trouble for. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" (All I could hear in my head was, "Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you. Bad boys. Bad boys ...") Hmm. I wanted to say something like, "Well officer, is it for my broken tail lights, my tags bungee-corded to the rear panel, my cracked windshield from the dump truck on the highway this morning, the styrofoam peanuts that were blowing out of my window for the last 3.7 miles around suburbia, the stop sign I just rolled through or the illegal lane movement I just made while trying to sip my piping hot Starbucks?" Instead, I said what every good law-abiding citizen says. "No sir. Would you be kind enough to share with me exactly what obscure Maryland law I just flagrantly violated before I file a Clergy Harassment report." He said, "Your Maryland emissions expired last June. You should have received something in the mail last summer as a reminder." "Really? How on earth did you learn that?" "Mr. Thompson, I didn't have anything to do so I ran your plates while toodeling along behind you while you were singing that one Toad the Wet Sprocket song from 1992. Can I see your license and insurance?" Nice. The pastor is two blocks from his house on the way home from work and sitting on a residential street as the entire neighborhood gathers on their front porches to see what the squad car lights are all about. I wanted to get out of the General Ki and explain to everyone that I wasn't really a bad person and that I really didn't have black smoke coming out of my tail pipes. I wanted to explain that I received my Maryland State Vehicle Inspection in February of last year to get my plates and didn't realize that I still had to have another part of my vehicle inspected four months later. In Indiana, you couldn't get your plates without a current emissions test.... The moms and dads on the front porches covered the eyes of their children and sent them inside to finish diner while the Bad Pastor got it. I thanked the officer for the warning. And drove the remaining two blocks to our house. That "numb" feeling didn't go away for about an hour. Then I got to go back to church and teach class ... Lara & I switched cars today while she has the General Ki emissions testing completed and up to date. Now if I could only get the cracked windshield fixed ... Bad boys. Bad boys. |
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