merge: catch me if you can

catch me if you can

Hanging out in the ER is not my first idea of a way to spend an evening alone with Lara. Yet, last night, we tried it anyway. The result of cavalier trash smashing.

I had a firm grip on my right index finger with my left hand for three hours. Much like the song "This Little Light of Mine". I guess you could say it looked as though I was hiding my light under a bushel....

After 30 minutes in the waiting room we were called back. (The lady at the desk said that we had come at a good time because the wait throughout the day was averaging 6 hours.)

After some preliminary vitals and sharing of personal information (no I am NOT strung out on any controlled substances and no I do NOT have any known allergies...) we were transferred to another room. But not before I was "tagged" on my wrist lest I start running for the door.

On the way to the room where we would spend the rest of our date, I noticed a young handsome admin assistant interning behind a desk named Andy. He looked like he had just fished planning a graduation frat party at the local community college.

So, off we go down the hall to the "room". That's where we had the "insurance" conversation along with the "Can my wife sign this stuff because I'm hiding my light under a bushel right now" conversation.

And then we noticed a wall-mount tv with a chick-flick (What Women Want) playing on TBS. I thought, "Hmm, a TV in the ER. Nice. This will be much more enjoyable than playing with all of the medical equipment and oxygen valves on the walls while waiting for the doctor ..."

And then he came in.

Andy the Frat Party Intern. In a lab coat. With fancy embroidery on his left lapel. That's when I noticed that there were two peculiar letters after his name.

M.D.

That could mean only one thing.

"Catch Me if You Can"

There was no WAY Andy the Frat Party Intern was a doctor!!! He's younger than me!!!! He must be on the lam from a fedora-wearing Tom Hanks!!!

And then he convinced me of something ...

I was right.

We watched him fumble around with the medical equipment and mumble to himself something about an "incomplete kit". He told me to remove my light from the bushel and lay my hand on the table while he went to the other room for something he "forgot". I told him that if I did that, my light would drip my life blood all over the table. He said, "Let's see."

And so I did.

And so he did.

He agreed that I should keep my light under the bushel until he returned.

We went back to watching the chick-flick while waiting for Dr. Frat Party to return.

He came back in and made 11 punctures around the base of my index finger on the top of my hand, in-between my fingers and underneath. That hurt.

He then said he'd return in 5 - 10 minutes after the anesthesia took affect.

And so we went back to watching the chick-flick. Again.

45 minutes later, Junior walked in again and asked me if my finger was numb yet.

I wanted to say something like, "Hello! It's been almost an hour since you poked me like a ginormous potato about to be placed in the microwave! Of course it's numb!!!"

And so Dr. Frat Party took the curvy needle and some fishing wire (ala Rambo) and went to work on my finger. I have to admit, he didn't learn those knots in Boy Scouts.

After a few more minutes of fumbling around, he completed his Senior Project and told us that a nurse would be in a few minutes to discharge us.

And so we went back to watching the chick-flick. Again.

50 minutes later, a nurse walked in, had me sign some papers (with my bad hand) and let us go. Our date was over.

As we walked down the hall, I waved at Dr. Frat Party across the ER admin area. I was certain he was sitting back down at a desk putting the finishing touches on his Senior Project...

Truth be told. I did ask him how long he had been a Doc. He said he was 31 years old and had been a Doc for 6 years. Hmm. I know what he was really thinking ...

"Catch Me if You Can"

Another night out together.

The only downside.

We missed the last ten minutes of the chick-flick.

The upside.

I didn't have to hide my light under a bushel anymore.

And I got a cool bracelet with my name on it too.