There was a time when I considered myself physically fit.

I was pretty proud of my certificate with the gold seal of fitness from President Reagan confirming my physical prowess.  However, my pride diminished when I joined the basketball league in 5th grade and completely evaporated in 6th grade.

Now I’ve learned a few things over the years …

Don’t try and park your high school band director’s Toyota pick-up after unloading the percussion equipment.

Reason: the bumper will fall off when you back it into the brick wall near the music department.

Don’t try and dive off of your friend’s garage roof on to a nearby tree branch while evading being tagged by your friend while hiding in the “perfect spot” during a game of tag in the dark. 

Reason: the branch that you dive onto with your entire body weight will be dead and snap immediately allowing you to land 14 feet on your chest and knock every conceivable speck of air out of your chest and cause you to roll around wheezing and gasping while your friends roll around laughing and crying.

Don’t try and pass a car on an icy two-lane country road in the dark three days after getting your driver’s license.

Reason:  the car you’re driving probably belongs to your dad and mom and the vehicle will begin to turn sideways when you hit 43 mph while accelerating through the pass  and immediately turn backwards, hit a ditch in just the right way and roll three times into a corn field while listening to Phil Collins sing “Another Day in Paradise”.

Don’t play Nintendo Wii Tennis for three straight days over New Years when you haven’t had any physical activity in the past 4.3 years.

Reason: Your wrist, arm, shoulder and back will feel like your wife practiced an eclectic Judo maneuver on you that she learned in her freshmen year of college.

This has brought be to the realization that it was time to put my life-long learning to use …

It was time to purchase the short-shorts and knee high socks and join the local gym.

So this past Monday, we did.

After a health assessment involving push-ups, sit-ups, toe-touching, stair-stepping, grip testing, body-fat measurements, before/after blood pressure and heart rates, we received our own personal print-out of the results showing us where we are, relative to where we should be …

The print-out confirmed what a sedentary life-style will do to your ability to touch your toes ...

Reaching for a cup of Starbucks has been much more rewarding of late ...

Tomorrow morning we will meet with a trainer who will make their recommendation of what we should focus on …

I just might learn to be physically fit after all ...

I can’t wait to receive my new certificate with a gold seal on it ...

I wonder if the gym will play Phil Collins ...